Have you ever had a conversation with yourself? Did you ever ask yourself questions in your mind? Have you been called crazy by even trying it?
In reality, you talk to yourself all the time, even if you are unaware of it…
This is the old cliche, you see on cartoons where you have an angel on one side and a demon on the other…
As childish is it may be, this actually happens on a different level. The question is which route will you take.
If you make a mistake you can have at least 2 options:
- You can say that you messed up, you’ll learn but you will do better next time or
- You can say how silly and wrong you were and how worthless you are.
Or if you do well, you can have at least another 2 options:
- You can say you have done well, pad yourself in the back, acknowledge it and see the positive or
- You could have done better and pinpoint what wasn’t perfect, according to you and criticize yourself.
It is in your hands to choose. I would choose option 1 in both cases.
Many people prefer the critical one, that pulls you down, often called negative self-talk. This is the voice that many of us hear louder, always pulling you down and criticising you. There are times you don’t know how to shut it up. Many times that voice is not yours but it is inherited by situations, family, friends, society. Other times it is your voice being too hard on yourself.
How to shut up the annoying critical voice?
- Be aware. Be aware of your thoughts and understand why they are there.
- Talk to that critical voice. Ask questions to understand why that voice is there.
- Shut down the voice’s arguments. For every negative, let your imagination discover a positive point.
- Practice and repetition. Start to talk with yourself in a positive way, praising yourself as you do to your best friend.
- Don’t get discouraged. If you practice you’ll have more and more positive thoughts and even if you have some negative ones, it’s ok as they’ll become more scarce.
- It is proven that reward is better than punishment, so why do you punish yourself?
- Try it and keep trying to have positive self-talk at times you are alone, walking in nature, in the toilet, wherever you feel more comfortable. Whatever rocks your boat!!
Now talk to yourself like you are talking with your best friend in a loving way.
I am sure you’ll appreciate more than constantly having an invisible finger pointed at you.